Opportunity Knocks, Founders Style
The recession may be over! Openings available in Philadelphia for Founding Father impersonators! (Thanks to fellow blogger at Northwest History, for highlighting this howler):
Founding Father Performers, Historic Philadelphia, PA
Historic Philadelphia, Inc. seeks historical interpreters to portray Founding Fathers.
- Thomas Jefferson: mid-late 20s/early 30s; at least 5’10”; Virginia accent; red hair preferred
- John Adams: 40s/50s; no taller than 5’8″
- Benjamin Franklin: 60s/70s
- George Washington: 40s/50s; at least 6′; athletic build preferred
- Alexander Hamilton: 20s/30s at least 5’8″
Part-time paid work, April through October, 2011; could be extended.
Rehearsals – $12/hour.
Performance – min. $50/show.
Housing/Transportation not included.
Auditions by invitation only; held in mid-January 2011. For more information visit www.historicphiladelphia.org.
HPI is an Equal Opportunity Employer.
Send picture (in .jpg or .jpeg form) and resume (in .pdf, .doc or .docx form) to email@example.com – or via U.S. mail to
Historic Philadelphia, Inc.
150 S. Independence Mall West Suite 550
Philadelphia, PA 19106
DO NOT CALL OR DROP IN WITHOUT AN APPOINTMENT
Now I don’t want to get a reputation as a nitpicker, but this advertisement raises more questions than it answers, and I’m not talking about the pay rate and benefits package for the performers:
- At what point in history was Thomas Jefferson in his “mid-late 20s” or early 30s, while John Adams was in his 40s or 50s? Answer: Never. Adams was eight years older than Jefferson. But Adams, was fat and we think fat people look older. So the tall Jefferson will be remembered as young and Adams will be forever portrayed as middle-aged.
- And Jefferson at only 5’10”? Come on, people. He’s got to be tall.
- Washington must have “athletic build”? Have you seen those portraits of the Generalissimo? By all accounts GW was an outstanding athlete and there seems little doubt that he generated a lot of power from a set of formidable hips. Don’t bring me some Washington with an inverted pyramid physique. I want to see some caboose on that man.
- Hamilton must be “at least” 5’8? In his dreams, with lifts in his shoes.
- And most poignantly, what about Aaron Burr? Sheesh. A guy kills a former Secretary of the Treasury in a duel — a man who was manifestly asking for it — then tries to form a new nation on the frontier, and they leave you out of every commemorative show.
If any reader lands one of these juicy sinecures after reading this blog, I’m expecting a finder’s fee.
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